Keith is a cynical teenage monster.
He thinks other people's sorrows are funny.
Someone in pain makes his laugh.
Be careful, Keith, your day of reckoning will come!

The Monster That Grows likes to eat children.
It disguises itself as a drop of water...
Arrives into your bath through the faucet...
Then it grows!
The only thing that can stop him is soap.
So wash yourselves well, kids!

All Mixed Up is a monster who works as a clerk in a department store at the shopping center.
He would like to work in the Toy section, but he has to work in Shoes instead.
He never passed his Toy exam.
Whenever someone asks him to fetch a pair of shoes from the back, he always brings back the wrong size.
Or he brings back a pair of lady's shoes for a man.
The clients become annoyed with him and leave.
The manager get angry.
Winter season is hardest for All Mixed Up, with all sorts of boots and galoshes to keep track of on the racks.
It gets so confusing.
It's hard making a living in the 21rst Century, but still, All Mixed Up has hopes that one day...
He will work in the Toy section.

The Spotted Being once surprised several leopards in Africa...
And absorbed their life essences!
The leopards became spotless!
Now, to this day...
The Spotted Being himself hunts for gazelles in the brush, hungry for blood!
And thus the snow leopards came to be.

Luigi is a famous monster who designs expensive furniture.
Every object he conceives is very beautiful.
His lounge chairs are divine to look at, as well as to sit in.
Luigi has so much good taste it's scary.
He makes you hate yourself for keeping that lousy old chair in your own kitchen.

The Purple-Tongued Greet always tries to sweet-talk himself out of trouble.
If he makes a mistake, he says it was an accident.
If he is caught doing something bad, he claims he is a victim of circumstance and blames it on someone else.
You won't get away with it, Greet!

You will not meet the fluid alien with a priceless ruby in his head casually on the street.
Untold riches will be for the person who reaches in and grabs the jewel.
But watch out!
The watery, drippy alien will defend it with all his might.

Electric Blue is gonna zap you!
It's going to hurt!
Owww!
Stay away, oh oh oh!
From that mean old blurry monster...
Electric Blue.

Early on Sunday morning when everyone is still asleep...
When you stayed out late the night before...
The Vacuum Monster starts cleaning as loud as he can!
Stop that infernal racket, Vacuum Monster!
And let us go back to sleep!
But no!
A monster has got to do his job no matter what.

Green Beard is forthcoming.
His imminence is looming.
His presence overhangs our futurity.
Soon.

Sweet, sweet Marie has no boyfriends.
Guys think she's too tall.
But she's a really nice girl, smart and perky.
You won't know how perky...
Until you kiss her blue lips!

Kibitzorr likes to talk about the weather.
He thinks tomorrow is going to be cooler by two degrees.
He says next week there will be a heat wave.
And the week after a new ice age.

Seymour Sinus is a monster whose lungs are on his face.
It's not a pretty sight to see him breathe.
And when he sneezes!
You don't know where to hide to avoid it.

Herbert the Vampire was caught in a tornado.
He can't escape the twister.
Now the sun has come out and he is being slowly shish kebabed inside the vortex.
Burn, evil vampire, burn!
(guest artist: Pierre Otis)

Michael Mandible likes to chew the fat.
He hangs around outside the general store, waiting for something to talk about.
The color of a newer car model rolling by...
What date is Mrs. Hudson expecting her new child...
What's the best insecticide around the house...

Grinning Idiot is always just a little too eager and jovial.
Sometimes other people enjoy a little calm and quiet, but Grinning Idiot cannot stand still.
Let's go party! Won't that be fun! Look at the new hats! Don't you think the new hat fashions are terrific? Tomorrow I was thinking of jumping off a cliff on a hang glider!
Yes, why don't you do that, Grinning Idiot?

The Spirit of Amadeus is seething in the next world.
He has cool new ideas for composing some wonderful new music!
However...
Heaven is full of people with no taste.
The Emperor is there, of course, and yes, he wants a new symphony composed...
But...
He just wants the same old same old.

The Infinity Being is stern and not very talkative.
He likes to listen to the blues.
In his opinion, the best singer who ever lived was Etta James.
Bar none.
He also thinks everybody else is wrong and he is right.

The monster who sells girl guide cookies from door to door is not making a lot of sales.
Nobody seems to be at home.
It seems every hour of the day our monster rings the doorbell is the wrong one.
Some people have a natural talent for calling on you at the wrong moment.

The Ignomious Doctor Wong built a wondrous machine...
A machine which transforms a human being into an immaterial consciousness...
Immortal!
Invisible!
And yet able to read thoughts...
Why, Dr. Wong is in your room right now...
Inspecting your mind and taking notes!

Bun Bun is a wily rodent, he placed his money in the stock market.
He bought low and he sold high.
He hung on when it crashed and cashed in big when it rose with a vengeance.
Bun Bun, could you invite me for lunch?

Kenneth is listening to the frequencies.
He can tune in to the past.
Right now he's listening to a news cast with Dan Rather from 1986.
Kenneth says no matter when he tunes in, it's always bad news.

Nembutoid, monster lord of space and time, has returned from his exploration of the eleventh dimension.
He claims there are no clouds there, or sky, or rain.
It is an empty vast space that is very still.
He became frightened of the dark, so he decided to return.

Green Eyes, you have the sweetest green eyes...
No one in the world is lovelier than you...
When you look at me...
I think I start falling in love with you!
(by Robert with guest artist, Pierre)

Raven Girl's mysterious friend is Inviso-torr!
She hypnotizes her prey to prepare them for Inviso-torr...
Then Inviso-torr scans the victim's brain...
All the victim's bad habits are revealed...
And removed by Inviso-torr who feeds on them...
Then Raven Girl and Inviso-torr return to the awful place they came from.
And leave behind the victim a better person than before.

The Fabulous Quantum Robot is formed by small particles which behave statistically.
Each of its atoms breaks down into electrons, protons and neutrons.
And each of those break down into nine kinds of quarks.
And the quarks break down into super strings.
And beyond that no one can guess.

The Mental Monster is a telepath who can read your thoughts.
No memory can stay hidden from him!
That nice vase you broke without anyone looking?
He's going to tell on you!

The Mad Monk of Montrolia loved holy relics and icons.
Their shapes and colors, their sinuous lines.
He loved them so much...
He became one himself.

Tee Head is a monster that comes from another strange dimension.
The atmosphere there is like chocolate milk in which you poured strawberry jam, and then sprinkled in some cinnamon.
Tee Head is not particularly friendly, nor is he very menacing.
Mostly he is unassuming, waiting for the day when his universe will suck in our own and we will all become his unwitting slaves.

When you can't see a thing because the dark night is upon you.
On that moment when holding your hand in front of your nose does not register.
At that instant of gloom when your instincts cannot help you.
Just ask Louis Light to show you the way home.

The Pulsating Brain from Zarkon is building up deadly energy.
The gamma beam will soon be unleashed.
Beware, run!
You don't want to be around when that sucker is let loose.

The Bobble Being is a monster that cannot stop teeter totting.
Back and forth it swings, night and day.
From its point of view, everything else is rushing left and right without pause.
It's all relative, you see.

The Muck Sphinx is an enormous underwater monster that never moves.
It is rumored that under its right flipper is hidden a vast underwater chamber.
Perhaps that chamber contains the sepulchral riches of a forgotten civilization.
Perhaps once, thousands of years ago, they ruled supreme!

The Judge and Jury Bot looks down at the accused.
He is of steel and has no mercy.
He rarely acquits.
He prefers to be quick.

The Visionnaire sees far and wide.
In planes of existence you cannot even guess.
He sees beyond doubt and guilt.
Into a better world we all wish we could view.

Frezno is a cynical clown with evil powers.
He can jinx you and give you bad luck if you don't laugh at his jokes.
Unfortunately when he puts a spell on you, that will make you even sadder.
At that point there's less chance that you will laugh at his antics, which will make him even madder.
Brrrrr.

Lonely Gus of Planet Mars saw the strange robot satellite coming from Earth.
It was going to collect dust and take pictures for NASA.
But it scared Gus and he shot it down.
He didn't want to be bothered by salesmen you see.
It makes him frown and ruins his day.
"Next time I'm going to blow up that planet if it sends another flyer here!" Gus exclaims.

He's just an Ordinary Devil who missed the bus...
He was on his way to see his beloved Lucifera...
Who lived on the other side of the Inferno...
In the flaming suburb of Burning Babylonia.
She would eventually break up with him because he missed the rendez-vous.
Anyway Lucifera preferred another incandescent Emperor of Evil over him.
The souls this new Emperor heaped upon Lucifera were more tasty, you see.
And so the Ordinary Devil returned to his dismal cave of pain.
Taking out his frustration on all those wretches sent down to him...
For the rest of eternity.

The Great Illuminator has a blinding truth to reveal.
He wants to share the knowledge of the cosmos with you.
To reveal the greatness of his deep thoughts.
Always just when you desperately need to go to the bathroom.

Please, Nebulonn, come out and play with us?
Only please, this time...
Don't use your X-Ray Eyes,
When we play hide-and-go-seek?

Abner is a vain and pretentious demon.
He thinks his wings are the most glorious in the Inferno.
And his fork is the sharpest.
And he's the greatest thing since burned white bread.

The Eye on the Box flies high in the sky, oh yeah!
It's looking down at you, and staring down at me. oh yeah!
It was built by the Americans to spy.
And it found out everything they needed to know...
About over here, oh no!

Turnip Chin is a vegetable monster.
With roots for legs and branches for arms.
And tubers for feet and leaves for fingers.
He's lean and green, our Turnip Chin.

Lionhead is king of the cosmos.
He zips around in his cool spaceship, which has a big sound amplifier on top.
When he flies over a planet, Lionhead plays the recording of himself roaring.
It comes out of the amplifier real loud!

Somno is a sinister clown, don't trust him.
When your back is turned, he plays dirty tricks.
Yesterday he tied both of Billy's shoelaces together while he wasn't looking.
Billy fell and scraped his knee badly.
Bad Somno!

Wobbly is one of those creatures you can only love.
He has charm, poise and speaks of interesting things.
Yesterday he talked about the physics of elasticity.
And then he proceeded to do a demonstration with his own body!

Cornelius has a bad habit, he only eats cupcakes!
He doesn't like apples, or carrots.
He refuses broccoli and celery.
Cornelius is not very healthy!

I am Klegg-Torr from Dimension X puny earthling !
Our secret hyperspace ray cannon is aimed right at your planet,
capitulate or be destroyed!
Send us all your eighteen year old redheaded young women, your camembert cheese and
your bottles of white Robert Mondavi Special Reserve 2002 through the
teleporter device we have provided you NOW!
And we'll forget this whole thing ever happened.

I am Zambala, king of the spirit world.
When I blink, entire universes are destroyed and created again.
Ah-CHOO !
Wait, where did everybody go?

I am Melting Max.
Shrinking into oblivion.
Losing my sight, losing my grasp.
There goes the whole ball of wax.

I am One Tooth...
All I want for Chrismas is my second vampyre tooth...
My second vampyre tooth...
My second vampyre tooth.

I am Zack the Zebra Man.
I was hexed by the Lawnmower Queen.
Now I am striped like a well-done sirloin on a barbecue.
Vendetta!

I am Muscle-Face and I was accidentally vivisected.
You see me now as I really am underneath.
I would like it very much if people stopped asking me if it still hurts.
I would really appreciate it.

My name is Funny Fred and I want to be a clown when I grow up.
There are white clowns who are serious and goofy clowns who trip on everything.
I want to be a white clown because they can be sinister.
There is a lot you don't know about me.

My name is Richard the Lionhead.
I like to go jogging in my neighborhood, it helps lower your cholesterol.
They are starting to build a big condominium complex two streets away from here.
There will be a lot more traffic so I will have to watch out more when I run down the street.

I am Brontoduck and it is no laughing matter.
For you see the environment is an important topic.
Our children will want an environment too.
So clean up or I will mess you up.

My name is Bjorn the Red
I conquered Europe and America a long time ago.
I'm still around in your nightmares.
My favorite color is crimson with a hint of magenta.

"The space gods are returning in their flying chariots," declared Angry Maya, as she stood before a group of her tribe in the amazon forest five hundred years ago.
She paused for dramatic effect.
"They will punish the conquistadors and save us!" she cried to her countrymen, who felt very relieved to hear this prediction.
Unfortunately for Angry Maya, the UFOs never came.

My name is Willem and I'm your new next door neighbor.
If you hear a cat shrieking at midnight,
and smell something strange like a soup with too much spices burning,
and see hooded figure chanting around a fire in my back yard...
Please go back to sleep.

Hello, I find it very annoying when people say to me,
"I am busy as a Bizby."
Because Bizby is my name and I'm not a particularly busy fellow.
What's that? A bee?
Where? I don't see any bees.

Freddy the Fly's fauteuil fetched a few dollars on eBay.
Fancifully described as a "palace on four legs", the furniture in fact tended to wobble a bit, therefore,
Freddy the Fly had fibbed to fuel a fearsome bidding war.
Finally, the fauve colored chair was acquired by a foolish foreigner.

I am ga-ga over Geena the Gronk!
She honks and hoots like no other gronk I know.
She leans over to one side and puckers her ruby lips,
and out comes a really loud honk!

I'm Porcupine Pete and I love geography.
Did you know that five hundred years ago people thought the planet Earth was flat as a pancake?
Today we know Earth is round, but it's not a perfect sphere either.
In fact, it's not even an ellipsoid because of its varied and irregular surface.
The shape of our planet can best be described as a "geoid".
Bet you didn't know that!

I am Procyon the galactic mercenary.
I travel the milky way in my deadly flying saucer, going from gig to gig.
Need a solar system wiped out or a cosmic rebellion squelched?
I'm your evil alien.
So can you tell me which way is... "Earth" ?

I am Harry the Disembodied Head.
I am a hypno and can control you through telepathy.
You must obey me now!
Could you please go to the corner store and pick up some snacks for me? Thanks.

Hello my name is Bug-Eye and I can see you very well.
You can run but you cannot hide.
I detect the merest trace of footprints.
I will catch up with you sooner or later.

My name is Droolon.
Honk! Honk!
My hobby is reading science-fiction novels by A.E. Van Vogt.
My favorite is the Sorceror of Lynn.
Honk! Honk!
Have you read that one?

I am Helldog, arf! arf!
I bury my bones in the graveyard.
I glow red in the dark, I am scary.
Do you have a bone to pick with me?

My name is Ernst Bzzz!
I stepped through the galactic portal Bzzz!
Now I am electric Bzzz!
I like to absorb energy and become invincible Bzzz!

My name is Armand and I have a precise outlook on life.
Things must be just so.
I won't stand to being contradicted.
Now you can go.

My name is Chuckenstein, see ?
You might know me brother Frankie from Vito's mob.
Or maybe you don't and I ought to pump you full o' lead, eh wiseguy?
Put her there pal, I like wiseguys, see?

Hello, I am Gary the Transparent Gorilla.
Do you have any transparent bananas?
I'm hungry, you can watch the banana go down my belly.
I need to get back to my transparent tribe in our transparent trees.
Just watch out where you step, the transparent do-do is hard to see.

Hello, I am Spiky Mary.
I put on too much makeup before I became a zombie.
Now I need a face and body lift.
Do you think I should botox my ear lobes?

I... am... Bumpetroid.
I... love... ham.
I... sent... email.
Are... you... receiving?

My name is Quadroctopus of terror.
I have half the tentacles and double the heads of a regular octopus.
My rose color attracts fish and then I bite them.
Come swim with me!

I'm Mountain Face.
When I laugh, it's like an earthquake happening and rocks fall off my nose.
Ha ha ha !
Ooops, there goes my chin.
Oh well.