The lean, mean, Scream Machine is jogging up my street,
Running hard, pumping harder and harder,
It's getting closer...
And closer...
It's just burning up those carbs.

Raven Girl's mysterious friend is Inviso-torr!
She hypnotizes her prey to prepare them for Inviso-torr...
Then Inviso-torr scans the victim's brain...
All the victim's bad habits are revealed...
And removed by Inviso-torr who feeds on them...
Then Raven Girl and Inviso-torr return to the awful place they came from.
And leave behind the victim a better person than before.

Spiky Sammy is a warm and cuddly little boy.
How could anyone resist his smile and his blue eyes.
Come to think of it...
He has his mother's eyes!

The Peacock Monster leaves behind him a smear of sticky scarlet pooled.
It is a wonder to look at the motifs on its back...
... And its ravenous maw going snap! snap! snap!
It is not quite a bird of paradise, you see, and it can pursue.
Do not linger close to the Peacock Monster...
... Or there will be no more you!

The Fabulous Quantum Robot is formed by small particles which behave statistically.
Each of its atoms breaks down into electrons, protons and neutrons.
And each of those break down into nine kinds of quarks.
And the quarks break down into super strings.
And beyond that no one can guess.

If you had to have a monster as a friend, then Doodie would be your best choice.
He's warm! He's helpful!
He has an extra head in his navel!
He has great breath out of both mouths!

The Mental Monster is a telepath who can read your thoughts.
No memory can stay hidden from him!
That nice vase you broke without anyone looking?
He's going to tell on you!

The Monster Who Runs Backwards is not looking where he is going.
So far, he has hit three telephone poles with the back of his head.
He has also knocked down a little old lady carrying a grocery bag.
Maybe you should wear a helmet with a rear-view mirror, stupid monster!

The Great Grey Sashimi is a monster superhero!
He dashes to the rescue when needed.
He will save the day.
But one day...
He will be swallowed whole by his fearsome enemy, the Sushi Dragon!

The Mad Monk of Montrolia loved holy relics and icons.
Their shapes and colors, their sinuous lines.
He loved them so much...
He became one himself.

Honorius used to be a regular little boy...
But he was turned into a monster.
This happened when Honorius skipped a day of school, and opened Salomon the magician's black book to read a spell out loud.
You should have stayed in school, Honorius!
Now look at you!

Aretha the Serious Space Armadillo is a nice monster.
Although 20 feet long and 15 feet high, and with sharp claws, it is not carnivorous.
It can talk, is very well educated, and likes to recite poetry while looking at the distant stars...
Nobody can tell you the soliloquy of the space armadillos like she can.
(guest artist: Joahnne, Benjamin's Mom)

The strange horsie goes neigh! neigh! neigh!
Even though one wonders where the neighing comes out from.
In fact, it's positively puzzling.
Let's think about it a bit.

Tee Head is a monster that comes from another strange dimension.
The atmosphere there is like chocolate milk in which you poured strawberry jam, and then sprinkled in some cinnamon.
Tee Head is not particularly friendly, nor is he very menacing.
Mostly he is unassuming, waiting for the day when his universe will suck in our own and we will all become his unwitting slaves.

The One-Eyed Weasel cannot be trusted.
He just can't keep a secret.
If you tell him something in confidence...
He'll want so badly to tell everyone what you want to keep mum...
That it will make him go crazy and his head will pop.

The Cat Alien has come to our planet to speak to us.
"Meow! Meow! Meow!" he says.
He must have a point.
We only wish we knew what it was.

When you can't see a thing because the dark night is upon you.
On that moment when holding your hand in front of your nose does not register.
At that instant of gloom when your instincts cannot help you.
Just ask Louis Light to show you the way home.

Humongus is not a pretty fella.
But at least he doesn't have bad breath.
He doesn't even have a mouth.
Nobody dares make a comment to him about his appearance.
So Humongus thinks he looks like Elvis.

Purple Glower shines like a star in the night.
Not quite mauve, a bit different than violet.
He hurtles through the cosmos, emanating purple photons.
These particles in turn will orbit the universe, spreading his radiation forever...

The Pulsating Brain from Zarkon is building up deadly energy.
The gamma beam will soon be unleashed.
Beware, run!
You don't want to be around when that sucker is let loose.

I am yet another alien with spiky boots,
I found them half-price during my wandering pursuits.
I have a strange body which might make you fearful,
you running off scared will just make me cheerful.

Happy Go Lucky is a monster that is always happy.
He has a positive mental attitude.
He learns from his mistakes and avoids repeating them.
He learns one new joke every day and tells it to his friends.
He introduces himself when he meets someone new and tries to listen.
Happy Go Lucky is a fun guy.
He will be President some day.

The Bobble Being is a monster that cannot stop teeter totting.
Back and forth it swings, night and day.
From its point of view, everything else is rushing left and right without pause.
It's all relative, you see.

The she-monster was tired of scaring people away.
So she underwent cosmetic surgery and had her face redone.
Now she is pretty!
Oh, so pretty!
Don't you agree?

Thunder Neck has got flashy decorative stripes under his chin.
This monster always dresses to the nines.
He has eye-catching spats on every foot.
It costs a lot when Thunder Neck goes shopping for clothes.

The Muck Sphinx is an enormous underwater monster that never moves.
It is rumored that under its right flipper is hidden a vast underwater chamber.
Perhaps that chamber contains the sepulchral riches of a forgotten civilization.
Perhaps once, thousands of years ago, they ruled supreme!

The dancing devil is a monster fleet of feet.
He's going to shuffle to an infernal beat.
He'll do the Mambo real sharp and neat.
He'll mesmerize you so you won't feel the heat.

The Gift-wrapped Skull is a scary surprise.
You expect chocolates or perhaps a new pair of socks when you open the box.
Out pops this leering, chilling monster!
You'll never look at a packaged present the same way ever again.

The Judge and Jury Bot looks down at the accused.
He is of steel and has no mercy.
He rarely acquits.
He prefers to be quick.

Balthazar is a wise old monster.
If you have a problem, go talk to him about it.
He is smart. He will give you good advice.
Too bad nobody listens.